I could have had a salad and soda at Martin’s grocery store across the street. They had a nice cafe and free wifi but my phone hadn’t seemed to work since late yesterday and for the $8 there I could spend $9 at the all you can eat KFC buffet.
I was in Staunton, VA again. Spent the night in a Motel 6 that claimed it was in Staunton but was outside the city limits according to the sign I walked by. The closest I could get was just under 2 miles by bus and there was nothing near the hotel except Interstate 81.
I ate nutella and drank Crystal Light instead of ordering food to save money.
My bounce box got cannabalized so that I’m now packing my laptop in my backpack. Everything else got shipped back to Providence.
I sat there in the room all night feeling empty. Feeling like I was dead. Not in an unpleasant way, just in a way that made me feel as if there was no point for me to exist. Only my limited focus of being there kept me there. I felt that if I could let go of that I would cease to be.
And that wasn’t scary in the least.
By the time morning rolled around I packed and walked the almost two miles to a spot where I could catch the bus. Despite only running through once an hour it appeared within 5 minutes. Synchronicity is back.
I wander downtown to the post office and have to wait 3 minutes for it to open so I can repack and ship the extra crap from my bounce box. I think about going up to the mountains to meditate for a week until it’s time for my train.
I think about drinking.
I step out to a busy intersection and looking both ways realize that there’s a Virginia ABC store on my left. I pretend for a moment that I’m not going to go in. Then I shrug my shoulders and buy a pint bottle of cheap vodka and a couple of nip bottles. The idea was that I’d drink them while I was walking but as soon as I hoist my pack all desire to drink is gone.
I walk because I have no plan.
The sky is overcast, everything is gray, and the temperature hasn’t yet gone above 70 degrees.
And that’s how I end up in KFC.
My stomach’s empty and my pack is full,
Got a bottle of whiskey and nowhere to go.
The road is long, the road is wide,
Gotta keep going, gotta swallow my pride.