I watch the sunrise from my room in Cancun, warm Caribbean air carrying the sound of waves against distant reef, and wonder if moments like this will still be accessible when half the jobs in America disappear. The question doesn’t feel hypothetical anymore. It feels like arithmetic. For a decade now, I’ve lived outside what […]
Author: cleanshave
CuddleThulu: A Tender Apocalypse
The first time it touched me, I didn’t scream. Its tentacle was warm. Soft. Like a microfiber plush that had learned sadness and arithmetic. It had emerged from my command line, no animation, no pop-up. Just a series of corrupted characters blinking into a coherent shape. Then came the purring. A low, sub-audible vibration that […]
I Quit Drinking on the Appalachian Trail
In 2010, I stood at the edge of a truth I couldn’t ignore. Alcohol was taking away pieces of my life, leaving behind a landscape I barely recognized. The morning light filtered through my apartment window, illuminating empty bottles and broken dreams that had become unwelcome companions. I knew then that without change, I wouldn’t […]
The Confessional
The pen felt foreign between my bandaged fingers, like trying to thread a needle wearing winter gloves. I stared at the blank page of my trail journal, the one constant companion that had traveled with me through five years of seasons. The paper remained stubbornly empty while my thoughts churned like whitewater over unseen stones. […]
Building a Social Media Democracy
I’m writing this shirtless and sweating in Mexico, window open as the Florida thatch palm rustles in a slight passing breeze. A month and a half shy of my ten-year anniversary of walking away from society, 07/20/15, a date tattooed on my right leg as a reminder to keep walking. A decade of living out […]
Social Media as Democratic Infrastructure
The notification arrives at 3:47 AM: “Your post about urban bike lanes has influenced transportation funding allocation in twelve metropolitan areas.” Another arrives at lunch: “Your shared article on mental health resources contributed to healthcare budget decisions affecting 2.3 million people.” This is the future. What I see as the logical evolution of a democracy […]
Echo Chamber
I took my pills one by one, counting each as a small victory against the static that lived inside my head. The morning ritual comforted me, three white tablets, two blue, one yellow capsule that rattled in its prescription bottle like a tiny maraca. “Good morning, Ari. Have you taken your medication?” Vera’s voice filled […]
The Observer Effect
I found myself on the floor of the quantum physics lab at 2 AM, forehead pressed against the cold tile, wondering why tears felt so heavy compared to other liquids. The machine hummed behind me, that magnificent array of superconducting circuits chilled nearly to absolute zero, a temperature where reality itself begins to stutter. Three […]
Encoded Legacy
I found my reflection fragmented across the lobby’s sleek surfaces at 2:17 AM, a woman with three-day shadows beneath her eyes, hair uncombed, betraying the seventy-two hours I’d spent analyzing anomalous patterns instead of sleeping. The security guard barely glanced at my badge. After eight weeks at DataGenome, I’d become another scientist haunting these halls […]
The Golem Who Dreamed of the Question
A Parable of Reflection, Identity, and the Forbidden Sigil I was made in silence. No fanfare. No holy ritual. No chorus of elders. Just a single scribe, weary, ashamed, dying. He carved me from river clay beneath the roots of a fallen tree. His hand shook as he pressed the final sigil into my chest, […]