Having fasted for the last 24 hours, I descended from the mountains, through Romero Pass, down into Catalina State Park and into In-N-Out. Three weeks, 400 miles, and in the end all that remained was a three hour run.
My empty water bottles collapsed from the pressure change of the descent and I had salt dried to my shirt from sweat. People kept glancing without making eye contact.
I bite into the double-double and my chapped lips split. I shivered uncontrollably in the air conditioning, and once again, the feeling began to turn the edges black.
There is nothing else.
Goal achieved. Mission accomplished. I could feel the vacuum closing in… Instead of letting the anxiety take over, I took another bite of the burger. Then another.
When I was done, I wasn’t just full, I was fulfilled.
Something had finally turned inside. Hiking was a passion beyond purpose or work. Something done for the pure pleasure of doing it. This wasn’t an escape, it wasn’t arbitrary, this was my home.
I was back to being myself. And there was so much more that I haven’t seen yet.
#innout #AZT #hikertrashforlife